I'm Back

 I didn't go anywhere; I just took a break from this blog. Didn't feel like writing. I think little Pip's poor health had something to do with it. She had been off her food for a while and I tried different approaches and types of food which worked maybe once or twice, then not. Depressing it was to see our little mate losing weight and leaving her food bowl hardly touched. Sometimes she'd come back to it for another mouthful but often it was left untouched. She could no longer jump and struggled a bit to get up the step here and there, as well as much reduced vision and hearing. I went to the vet and bought some special soft food. I was relieved she ate some enthusiastically that night, but she spewed it up later.

Knowing she was nearing the end I took her to the vet to confirm that it was time. The vet agreed, saying her kidneys were failing. I made an appointment for the next afternoon to return for her euthanasia. Coincidentally Robbie was coming from Victoria that very day, so we all had a final night together to say our goodbyes to her. Lib and I took her back to the vet the next day, the boys didn't come; they didn't think they could handle it. She's buried in our back yard where she spent the last almost 4 years of her life.

 

It was a tearful time for all of us, I had a lump in my throat many times when she came into my thoughts through daily routine of feeding etc. A wonderful family companion she was for nearly 18 years. We grieved. We grieve still, but it's easing. We were so lucky to have her for so long. She survived being poisoned by eating snail bait in my van when she was young, anal gland infection and operation, toe amputation following an infection, snake bite and several near misses from traffic. Once she disappeared down a wombat hole and I couldn't get her out. I thought the wombat must have crushed her to death but just when I was about to give up all hope, she came gingerly trotting after me, covered in red dirt. 

I took a break also from my Vietnam book. I borrowed 'Capricornia' by Xavier Herbert from the library and had four weeks to read it before returning it. It's a long book, a novel, set in Nth Australia from say WW1 time to about the late 1930's when it was written. I'd read it some 30 years ago and loved it and wanted to read it again after telling friend Geoff up the road about it. Geoff was raised in Darwin which is essentially the hub of the story. It illustrates the hardships and inherent racism that existed at that time when blacks, half castes and yeller fellers had little chance in life. The racism was not just reserved for the indigenous, it extended to Chinese, Japanese and Filipinos, all of which were plentiful. The boom and bust of the cattle industry and the cruel climate of floods and droughts affecting agricultural pursuit show that life in the top end wasn't easy.

I'm back into 'Vietnam'. I find it - in a word - disgusting. The corruption, the atrocities and brutality by both sides, the stupidity, costing countless thousands of lives. A political war based on ideology. I won't overload you with statistics but by the end of 1966 there were 385,000 Americans in Vietnam and it was announced there would be many more coming. The cost of the war had been budgeted for $2billion for 1966, but the final bill came in at more than $15billion and would rise to $17billion in 1967. Thousands of tons of bombs and defoliants were dropped wiping out villages and food supplies. Hard to comprehend.

I will read on.  

Vietnam

 I'm making slow progress on the current book I'm reading, Vietnam, by Max Hastings. It's important for me to finish this book, despite the large amount of detail in diplomatic and political spheres over a long period. I am getting the gist of it. I'm feeling compelled to write briefly about it. 

As I was about finish primary school, President Kennedy was assassinated. Kennedy had been mindful that his government's decisions on policy in Vietnam would have great significance at the election to follow in November 1964. Early November '63 Kennedy was shot dead and shortly after, President Diem in South Vietnam was murdered in a coup by military generals and a new President installed. The new guy didn't last all that long and in turn was murdered and there was another murder and change over, and maybe yet another before '64 was out.

My mate Graeme Forster and I started secondary school at Malvern Grammar that year. I met my great mate Rickyralph that year. Our focus was certainly not on Indochina as 12-year-olds, as we each grappled with the newness and the idiosyncrasies of our particular family circumstances. As Graeme and I played on the beach at Lorne in the summer of '64/5, Lyndon Johnson basked in glory following a huge landslide victory in the US election in November.

Skirmishes between Communist and South Vietnamese forces escalated during '64: a mini sea battle in the Gulf of Tonkin when a US destroyer fired upon North Vietnamese patrol boats after "imagined" torpedo attack, later resolved as turbulence (by sudden change of direction by the destroyer) picked up on radar, precipitated a bombing raid by the US on targets in the North. A show of might and power meant to deter and cower.

It was an extraordinary aspect of the war, that the American people and their legislature acquiesced with little remark in a vast military commitment to a faraway country, heedless of the fact that the rest of the world including Britain, France, Japan, Canada - almost every developed democracy except Australia - thought US policy foolhardy in the extreme.

Prior to 1965, most of the direct American assistance to South Vietnam was advisory and in training ground forces and pilots. American helicopters ferried South Vietnamese to conflict zones and covert US operatives were parachuted into remote areas to gather data on the strength and movements of communist forces. There were as many as 26,000 US personnel advising the regime government and the military. The South Vietnamese seemed to lack the will to fight with desperation and urgency. Many defected to the Vietcong. The American involvement was seen by the North as Imperialism, similar or worse than the colonialism they had suffered for many decades. American planes and helicopters were shot down, pilots captured. The bombing of the North steeled the iron will of the communists.

It seems the ego of the new President and those around him entwined with the nation's global prestige. Coordinated assaults by the Vietcong culminated in an attack on the Brink Hotel in Saigon on Christmas Eve, leaving two Americans dead and 58 wounded. Late in December VC regiments mauled a Vietnamese Marine battalion leaving 60% casualties and most of the officers killed. Four American helicopters were shot down. Patriotism helped stifle debate when American boys were dying.

A dramatic expansion of America's war in Vietnam had become inevitable.

A Year on.

 Last January I was in hospital. It was an adventure starting on 18 Jan and concluding 28 Jan when I was discharged from Flinders Hospital following a carotid artery clean out operation a couple of days earlier. 

I posted on this, also some follow up, last February in A Stroke of Luck (4 posts) and I've read them through to refresh the sequence of events and my feelings at the time.

Earlier this month,13 Jan, I received a FB message from a lady, Sarah, I met at Flinders Hos.

Close to one year since meeting you Carey. Thinking of you at this time. Hoping this New Year brings continued health and happiness. x 

I responded thanking Sarah for her kindness in Flinders and her message and offering reciprocal best wishes for '25. She replied.

Thank you, Carey, your words are just so beautiful, they really mean a lot to me

I'll never forget that time and like you said, with many plusses. Your kind wishes for '25 are not taken lightly, love and peace💚 I love this, thank you. So happy to hear that you are enjoying life, I pray that this continues; even more joy is to come.

Go gently at this time, sending lots of smiles and prayers😍.

Sarah is wonderful. A diamond. She was in hospital suffering from symptoms diagnosed as MS. She was so caring and helpful to others in the shared ward, mostly elderly gents. She has a young son who started school last year. We are friends on Facebook and it's my great pleasure to see her posts now and again. And indeed, to have met her a year ago.

I'm pleased that my health since that incident has been good. I have been physically able to continue my assault on weeds in the Hindmarsh River Reserve, including olive trees, boxthorns, boneseed, watsonia, African daisy and cape ivy in the main, but also some sweet pittosporum, English ivy and nightshade here and there. This second half of summer and autumn I'm moving into sections I have spent little time previously. I pray my health and strength in back and legs continues so that I'll be as satisfied with '25 as I was with my substantial achievement in '24. 

 

2025

 Here I am, 1 Jan '25. All is well in my world if you consider world in the terms of my everyday life. Not the larger concept of world, that seems to be in a hell of a mess. And the term all is well in my world perhaps also needs qualification. It's not perfect.

I wish Lib was in better health. She's fair to middling, but still suffering from fatigue and other symptoms of what she believes is Long Covid. A feeling of tiredness, some nausea, muscle soreness and lack of energy and "brain fog". Apparently, there are millions of people worldwide with this affliction. I wonder, is it a result of the Covid, or a response to the vaccines we were coerced to have in order to function properly in daily life?

I wonder also, what caused me to have a mild stroke last January? I know it was a blockage in my carotid artery. But what caused the blockage by accumulated cholesterol muck in my neck? It was explained to me that something caused initial sticking of a particle/s inside my artery wall, they don't know what - and from there further particles got caught at that little snag which became bigger until there were little fragments coming off causing significant blockage to veins in my brain taking blood to certain areas. The operation they did, I was told later, was complicated by the fact that there was a vein twisted around the artery, whereas usually they are parallel. I asked could that be because more than 50 years ago I suffered a very heavy blow to my jaw, just above that blockage spot, breaking the jaw and causing me concussion, while playing football. Unlikely was the reply. Sometime this year, there was press saying that the AstraZeneca was removed from use because a known side effect was causing blood clotting. I had two of them! Then a PFizer. All basically by Government decree. Wonder indeed! Many unanswered questions.

When I think about world affairs, with current wars and threats of escalation, I wonder if we'll be here to see 2026. Then again, for most of my life I've lived in the knowledge that nuclear war is a real threat to human existence; it hasn't happened so I'm hopeful it won't now. There must be some agreement, or joint reluctance to pull the trigger, by those with their finger on it, given the potential for total destruction. I wonder again.

With the above in mind, realizing most of the information/misinformation is fed to me, often coming from completely opposite viewpoints, it's best not to dwell too much on it, but to get about my daily life doing my best to assist those around me and the natural environment where I can have some effect and at the same time enjoy the many pleasures available in order to enjoy my retirement. This I don't wonder about - I do it.

I'm continuing to read the book on Vietnam. If ever I needed evidence that Governments can be completely flawed, it hits me like a brick with every read. I could copy excerpts for this post, so amazing is the belief system causing that dreadful debacle, but I don't think I need do that. I'm up to 1963, when there was a Buddhist rebellion and Monks in orange robes were torching themselves in order to bring international awareness to their plight. I vaguely remember this being news when I was 10 or 11 years old. It horrified me then, so I quickly shut it out of mind.

My legs are working well with much less stiffness. No more neuralgic pain in the scalp to the ear. I haven't taken any painkillers for over a week. Still some minor soreness/stiffness in the upper thighs and buttocks - putting socks on etc. still a little awkward, but I suspect I'm pretty much back to normal for a man in his seventies. Will get more blood tests Jan 6 and see what that shows re inflammation and cholesterol and kidney function and whatever Doc wants to look at and discuss.

Ian Sinclair came Christmas Eve and stayed till last Saturday. He's well. It added to our Christmas cheer. He's now in Victoria on his way to get some work done on his Mitsubishi Delicia 4WD van by a specialist in Geelong who says he can put new bushes in the rear suspension correctly, a job many repairers not so familiar with that vehicle don't get right. He's then heading to the Victorian High country before returning to Thailand where his son Jethro works and is building a house well out of the city somewhere. He's teamed up with a young Thai lady from a village and a housewarming on the first night in a new house has great cultural significance and Ian is invited.

Reaching Out at Christmas

Writing this blog is somehow comforting to me. I don't know who reads it, probably not many people, but I know some good friends are regulars. It's with them I feel I'm communicating my thoughts and this case my best Christmas wishes. It's good people I've been associated with who have made life something to cherish. So Merry Christmas to you who reads and may you be favoured by a gentle breeze and good fortune.

The hospital (Flinders) rang me today, a part of the surveillance program on my carotid artery. The purpose of the call was to discuss the pictures from my ultrasound examination done last Friday It was scheduled for yesterday, but I was shopping in the mall on Friday when a phone call came from Jones Radiology to tell me they'd had a cancellation and if I could be there in 20 minutes I could take the spot. Apparently, my artery is OK. There's been small change since my last ultrasound but not sufficient to cause concern or action. I'm clear for another 6 months when they'll organize another U/S.

I remain afflicted by the stiff legs despite my remedial massage program, so I've booked a Doctor's appointment for 6 Jan. I'll inform Doc that I'm cutting the statin tablet into quarters and therefore taking only 20mg per day instead of the originally prescribed 80mg. I'll request blood tests for checking cholesterol and markers for RA as well as all the other things Doc usually does. I should then know more of my situation and have a better idea of whether it's the statin causing my leg/bum muscle difficulty, or something else. All I can do is keep looking for solutions, which is the same with everything, for me and everybody.

The soreness hasn't stopped me doing anything. Most days I go down the river for an hour or so and do good things. Very satisfying.

I'm slow but the book on Vietnam tells a gruesome story. I'm still only about 15-20% of the way into a 600-page small print book, but it's absorbing. I did not realize there was a large-scale revolutionary war with the French years in duration in the first half of the 1950's. Losses of people and resources by both sides, as well as much suffering by the civilian population, most of whom were poor to start with. Then after the formal partition of Vietnam into north and south there was brutality and atrocity in extreme, by both the communists and the Diem Regime, in the second half of the decade. 

I started this post last Tuesday - it's now Thursday.

The USA largely bankrolled the French for years with equipment and money due to their paranoia about communism. No doubt the Korean thing was a factor in this. The British were reluctant to become involved by joining the US with this support, believing it to be futile for France to try to maintain their colonial asset in Indochina (If they couldn't hold on to India what hope could France have).

 

After all the Geneva peace talk stuff and partition the US continued its financial input, now to the Diem regime in the south. The money and equipment were misused in huge corruption making the Diem people wealthy and most of Vietnamese population even more poverty stricken. An almost unbelievably inept disastrous level of incompetence and corruption. I will read on, difficult and slow as it is, such is the detail, but in my humble opinion the author has done an amazingly good job so far.

Back to my health situation. Starting Monday I had neuralgic pain at the top of my head shooting down to my right ear every minute or so. It was not severe, painkillers eased it, but I used them sparingly. Tuesday night I woke a couple of times with the pain stronger. At 6am Wednesday I took two Panadeine. At 6.30 the pain persisted so I took two Ibuprofen. The shooters were now every 10-15 seconds. After 7am I said to Lib I think I'll go to the hospital to get a blood test, to check inflammation and my RA markers given my history. Lib drove me up and came home.

Seven and a half hours later, I rang Lib, she picked me up. The doc at ED, Amy, a lovely young of lady of Scottish origin (I wish I'd asked her how a Scottish lass came to be a doctor at Victor Harbor Hospital) told me I did the right thing coming in, my inflammation levels were high. After consultation with rheumatologist, she said it was unlikely it was temporal arteritis (I had told them of my scare some 15 years earlier when I had artery biopsy to find negative for that) but to monitor myself closely and if I had strong pain, trouble chewing or vision issues to get back there quickly. By this time the pain had eased. She told me to ask for more blood tests at my Jan 6 Doctor's appt to compare with today's. 

I'm not mucking around; I'm going to take Ibuprofen say three times a day if necessary and mix it up with Panadol. I'm confident I'm OK or will be fine in a day or two. I have a bit of an overreactive immune system methinks which gets a bit enthusiastic when it encounters triggers. I was getting prickled and bitten by ants, mozzies, mites, flies down the river and munching antihistamines to alleviate rash. 

I feel great today, no pain. My leg soreness has almost disappeared entirely. Maybe that's because I've upped the painkillers, maybe it's because my massage program took a while to kick in, maybe it's because I reduced the statin to a quarter of a tablet a couple of months ago (80mg>20 daily) and that took a while to kick in. I'll share all this with Dr Kamahl Mamoud when I see him on Jan 6 and take it from there.

All we can do is "Keep firing." I repeat my Christmas best wishes to my friends. May your lives be filled with joy. I love you.

 

 

History

I'm a lover of history. Lib bought a book at an op shop a while back. 'Vietnam - an epic history of a tragic war', by Max Hastings. It sat unread for a few months while I read other  books ahead of it in the queue; perhaps these others seemed less serious and more entertaining so moved ahead of it. I finished 'The Pursuit of Happiness' by Douglas Kennedy and had that feeling of loss when you read a long book that fully engages. It seems to me Douglas Kennedy is a pseudonym - the book is written in the first person, told by two women unrelated by blood but very much by circumstance. How could a man have such insight into female emotions? But a google search indicates I'm wrong. There was an historical element in the book, following people's lives through post WW11 in the US through a few decades.

 

I started 'Vietnam' yesterday. I've only read the introduction and 9 more pages. I have found it eye opening and have learned so much already that I didn't know, starting with history through the centuries of occupation on and off by China, then French occupation and exploitation over many decades, then WW11 when Japan usurped the French for a time. It seems everyone wanted the rich natural resources there for the taking. Add to that drought, famine and floods in the WW11 time frame with millions of people dying of starvation and it's no surprise I already feel enlightened and there's over 600 pages to go as it moves on to the more modern Vietnam/American/Australian war. It might get ugly. It will get ugly.

 

We had our FHRE Xmas break up lunch yesterday at the house up the road of one of our  members. A happy turn out, good people. I haven't been doing so much down the river this past few weeks. After a busy winter and first half of spring when I put in a lot of hours solo work due to logic of timing with weed flowering, I've eased right off. I'm suffering from soreness/stiffness in my upper front legs, at the top where legs meet torso. It slows me down and is uncomfortable more than severe, but I'm resting up a bit. I'm hopeful it has nothing to with the mesh inserted in my lower abdomen/groin in a double hernia operation about ten years ago, or isn't relapse of the Rheumatoid Arthritis I endured some years ago. More likely it's an issue with my lower back causing tightness and restriction through the hips to the top of the front of legs. I had a back massage a week ago which was great but the soreness remains. Next step is a back realignment in a remedial massage. Last resort doctor. Bad scenario hip degeneration, but I don't think so. 

 

I've been doing my best to avoid politics, the media has been unrelenting on the US election and are still at it, not to mention our domestic political intrigue which will escalate to frenzy in the coming months. I have a good tactic to keep my sanity. I get up each morning and put the radio on, tuned into Classic FM. As they say, "Life's better with music." Late at night I turn the TV to the Relaxation Music channel 844 and enjoy peaceful bliss with my cinnamon tea, preparation for beautiful sleep and dreams. Getting up a couple of times during the night to relieve the bladder from old man syndrome is no hardship, in fact I love the quiet and peace of the dark and usually stillness as I take in the night sky.

 

But not the night before last, when huge thunder cracked above waking me up to go look for old Pip, who was wandering around in pouring rain like a zombie, not in complete panic as she did prior to old age but totally disorientated. It was some storm, as loud thunder as I've ever heard. Good thing though, we had about 15ml of much needed rain.

Avuncular

 I'm not sure why, but on my way to the Saturday morning market yesterday a word came into my head. I resolved to ask the first three stall holders if they knew its meaning. I didn't have recall.

Kate my chocolate lady had no idea and used her phone to google it, but it was not working. Sarah my egg lady didn't know. I asked Peter at my fruit and veg stall and he looked at me strangely and asked me to spell it. By the time his wife Sophie had finished serving me he came up with an answer from google - "kind and friendly towards a younger or less experienced person."

eg- He was avuncular, reassuring and trustworthy.

I checked the Oxford pocket dictionary when I got home - "Like or of an uncle esp in manner" Latin avunculus - uncle

In the afternoon we went up the road for a barbie and to watch the AFL Grand Final with our good friends Geoff and Di. A friend of theirs was also present, Al from Strathalbyn. We had a great day. As we were leaving it occurred to me to ask each of them in turn if they knew the meaning of the word avuncular. Di first, a retired nurse shook her head in the negative. Al, a retired toolmaker also didn't know. Then I turned to Geoff, a retired schoolteacher and principal, thinking he would know. He didn't either. But they all do now.

I was pleased that the Ashcroft lad won the Norm Smith medal. His mother is the daughter of John Townsend who played in the Melbourne 1964 premiership team. When I was at Gatton College in 1974 a teammate in the Aussie rules football team, along with me one of the few who'd played it much previously, Jason Payne (Paine?) his name, told me his sister was married to John Townsend. Jason was an excellent player. Will Ashcroft certainly has a lot of footy genes. His father Marcus played 300 games including 3 premierships for Brisbane.