2026 Roller Coaster

Here we are nearly at the end of March. The year so far has been full of drama on my personal level and also the world stage. It's a bit of a blur - I thought I'd better do a blog post before the details are lost to my memory. I'm sure some are already gone.

 

Old mate Ian was with us for nine days in January. That must have been after Gord and I went to Victoria to assist with the clean out of the shed at Chamomile Farm prior to property settlement on the 16th. Ian, the intrepid traveler who lives in Canada, arrived in Australia in September, landing in Sydney and going to Canberra to pick up his Delicia campervan, then going North as far as Cooktown, visiting friends along the way. He left us and traveled to Victoria where he had booked work on his van at a trusted mechanic in Geelong after which he trekked to Wilson's Promontory and other parts of South Gippy, before backtracking to the Grampians and then back to our humble abode. He rang every day to tell us of his location and his camping situation and what birds he'd seen, as well as a weather report.

 

When I wrote that, Ian had moved on. It is now some days later, April 5 to be precise. Ian left us to meet up with his nephew Brett who was with a mate in a caravan on the Yorke Peninsula.After a few days there he headed to the Murray River en route to his final destination ultimately in Sydney to fly back to Canada on April 10. The phone calls have continued daily, now including discussion on AFL football which has been a shared interest of ours for as long as I've known Ian, in excess of 60 years. The phone call yesterday informed me that he's not flying to Canada on the 10th, but Bangkok instead. The airline contacted him wanting to reschedule his flight giving him the option to cancel with money back if he wanted. So he thought Thailand would be good where his son Jethro works and is married to a Thai girl. They have a house a short flight from Bangkok in a village and Ian thought he'd like to be there for the imminent Thai New Year celebrations in preference to still freezing temperatures and snowbound conditions in the Yukon.

 

A lot of detail there unimportant to most people but it has seemed frontal to my daily business and it flowed out of me when I finally got to this update. Now to brother Jod.

 

As I've said previously Jod was intending to stay on at the Monbulk Rd Emerald property after the new owners moved in on Jan 16. A rental figure was agreed to with the new owners on the basis that Jod was a lodger and would do some maintenance in exchange for the low rent. The new owners are good people according to Meredith which was my impression when I met the guy, Chris, in January. I didn't meet wife Bronwyn. They had said they were happy to have Jod stay there for some years. That didn't last long. Meredith rang me to say Bronwyn had emailed her to say it wasn't working, they'd like Jod to find somewhere else by July.

 

Panic station for Meredith and Roger, who had worked so hard to relocate themselves and handle all the furniture removal and property clean up. By a stroke of the miraculous, Meredith's daughter Annie who lives in Beaconsfield, saw a unit in a village for sale for $160,000. Around the same time another email came to say that Chris and Bronwyn wanted Jod out by the end of March such was the deterioration of things. Effectively it had taken Jod one month to spoil his opportunity of staying at the farm in his bungalow.

 

By this time, Jod was most vocal at every opportunity about his hatred of Bronwyn. This made him want to get out as quick as he could and probably was key to him agreeing to fund himself the purchase of the Beaconsfield unit. Settlement on that was March 21 and we were full of nervous tension till it eventuated. Then Meredith and Roger had to organize the relocation and another clean up. Jod had befriended a young bloke who worked on a tree removal on the property, Leroy. Leroy bought some things Jod was happy to sell, records and an antique muzzle loading firearm and said he'd help Jod move stuff in his boss's truck after work. The day before this was due to happen, Leroy said he would visit and bring a bottle of rum. Jod told Meredith of the arrangements. Meredith asked (begged) Jod not to drink rum, knowing how bad he was when he did!

 

The day of the supposed furniture move Meredith found Jod in a bad way with his hands damaged, a lot of skin off and painful ribs limiting any activity. He'd got into the rum and gone outside in the night probably to take a leak. He fell in his fern garden and couldn't get up. He didn't know where he was. It took him four hours to crawl back inside dragging himself by his hands. On learning of this, Roger said he'd had enough, stuff the Leroy thing, he arranged a small hire truck for two days. After picking up the truck in Ferntree Gully at 4pm, the next day they, R and M, arrived to load it. Jod was groaning in pain and could not contribute, even having trouble breathing. It was decided to take him to hospital. Roger suggested Meredith take him so he could load things. She refused, not wanting to be stuck in casualty with him for hours and also not wanting R lifting furniture by himself. At this point I should mention that R has had a medical issue where he has had temporary blackouts a number of times where he appears to feint. She doesn't even like him driving. So Meredith stayed there and rang me while Roger took Jod to hospital. Old mate Ian was with us at this point, I was having trouble focusing on anything. 

 

The upshot was Jod spent a few days in hospital. Doctors tested - no broken ribs, liver showing signs of early cirrhosis, minor problem with a leaky heart valve. Roger's brother came to help him move the furniture and pots and pans and all else. They left it in Jod's new carport. Next day R and M and Rosie's husband Mat moved the stuff inside. Jod was still too sore to contribute meaningfully. Last I heard from Meredith a couple of days ago, they've been back to help him place things where he wants, she finished cleaning his bungalow which was filthy, even hanging new curtains and buying a new doormat. Another email came from Bronwyn stipulating they never want Jod back on the property and if he ever comes back it will be a legal matter.

 

I've had a bumpy 2026 so far. It should be peaceful from here. I'm so glad I got out of Emerald five years ago! I was tempted to go back to help with Jod's translocation but with the fuel crisis I didn't need much to convince myself it would not be a good idea. What now? How long till Jod mucks up in his new place? At least he's in his own place; Meredith shouldn't feel obligation to jump to his assistance in future. 

 

She's an amazing lady my sister. A wonderful human being! I sent her chocolate for Easter, with a block for Elvie and Rog too. The Chamomile Farm story has finally reached conclusion. My mind whirls and twirls with recollections of so much drama over 55 years. And so much achieved despite all the difficulties.

 

While the Jod drama was happening my mate Rick rang to say his wife Monica fell down the stairs while pet sitting at her daughter's place and was in hospital with a broken leg and collarbone.  

 

Let's Make it 50

 The first thing I said to Lib this morning was,

"Let's make it 50."

January saw us reach 45 years of married life! January was busy. The wedding anniversary came quietly but gives opportunity for reflection, which has been pleasant and satisfying on a personal level, overriding the hassles and worries. Lib's sister Pat has serious health issues and has been undergoing chemo. Lib still struggles with her long COVID and skin allergies, but dare I say, seems to be improving.

January 16 saw settlement of the sale of the property known as Chamomile Farm at Emerald in Victoria. My parents bought the land in 1971, built a house and moved in the following year. I lived there for most of 1973, again 1975. I returned to the area (living in Gembrook for the next 40 years) to work at "the farm" in 1981 after marrying Lib. I became a part owner in 1986 and was proprietor of the business for 35 years.

 

Gord and I went to Emerald prior to settlement to help clean up the shed and have a last look around and see Mum Elvie in Aged Care at Salisbury House, as well as of course sister Meredith and Roger and brother Jod. I also managed to visit friends Rickyralph* and Monica in Berwick, also Maria Millers and Chris Britton in Emerald. A week away including two days traveling each way with overnight stops in Horsham and Nhill.

 

Lib held the fort at McCracken doing a deep clean in the house in hope of alleviating her skin rash allergy possibly caused by sensitivity to dust mites according to recent blood tests. She looked after our garden as well so her week of solitude was indeed a busy one. The weather turned feral in the second half of January. It was a heatwave across South East Australia well documented of record proportion. Our fridge didn't make it, the freezer no longer freezing. New fridge now in place.

 

While Gord and I were away, we booked a motel online for our return. I thought I was  booking with the motel direct, but when the confirmation email came I could see it was for the wrong day, the day that was nearly over (9pm), not the next day. Tried to ring customer service, Dallas USA, couldn't get through, fine print said no refunds on cancellation. Bottom line - I did $168 Australian when converted from $US. Oh, and $13 booking fee and $4 transaction fee on my credit card. Motel couldn't help when we did get there. They have no control over the booking companies - we had to pay another $150. A scam totally I reckon. Just shows me not to do things online when tired. Lesson learned! The fridge we bought locally was listed as $1399. After we bought it I saw on line the same fridge advertised on line at the Good Guys (South Adelaide) for $899 on special. Bugger.

 

We paid a deposit on a new car last week. The warranty on our Skoda runs out in April as does the rego. With a distribution from the sale of Emerald we thought it was a good time to look at a new vehicle. A contract is in place for March delivery of a Kia Sportage hybrid with a 7 year year warranty, fixed price servicing. Probably our last purchase of a motor car and hopefully 7 years of trouble free motoring. Should be a saving on fuel. We had a solar battery fitted last week, it was ordered last November and we've been in the queue. Should be a saving hereon in electricity. Save for some new socks and underwear, the rest of my farm money is going into the superannuation income stream but withholding a lump sum (possibly 25%) to pay Capital Gains Tax come the end of the financial year.

 

With all that's happened over the last six months with Elvie going into Aged Care; the sale, the clean up, the agent, the solicitor, all the discussion, paperwork, I can only say how fortunate we have been to have good professional people. Sue Colic at Barry Plant Real Estate was amazing. KLR legal services equally excellent. Mum is adjusted well to Salisbury House and was happy when I saw her, though naturally at 97 years old not every day is good. It was comforting to see how attentive, warm and caring the staff treated her. Meredith visits multiple times a week. Jod is staying on at the Emerald property as a tenant. He rang me yesterday, the new owner Chris is a fantastic fellow according to Jod. He loves his new property and is full of enthusiasm and energy, already making necessary improvements. Jod's old cat that lived with mum in the house has settled in well in Jod's bungalow and both of them managed quite well in the brutal heatwave.

 

Meredith and Roger did an amazing job handling the huge work involved in selling the property in preparation and in vacating the furniture and household accumulation of 50 years. Also prior to that looking after Elvie and maintaining the property. I'm forever grateful. 

 

I have much to be grateful for, as is true for all my life. Let's hope Lib and I get to 50 years married in, dare I say, 2031. There are no guarantees. Yesterday is history, tomorrow mystery, today a gift. I've said that many times probably in this blog. Our tour guide in Peru used it in his farewell speech a couple of decades ago. I think he got from a Schwarzenegger movie. I am hoping for a calm peaceful 2026, enjoying comfortable retirement. Life has remained good but the last six months or so has caused some disruption.

 

*In recent months Rick and Monica moved into a new place in Berwick, a retirement village sort of thing. He rang me Christmas eve, to say he and his daughters and families, the whole tribe, were going to Warrnambool on Xmas day for a week. He rang again early January to say he'd been there a couple of days when he got a phone call telling him someone had broken into his new house and camped there a couple of days. Some druggie had smashed the laundry window and climbed in, cutting himself and leaving blood in their bedding where he slept. They cleaned up and bought a new bed but the bloke stole Monica's jewellery and IPad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Music and Song

 This morning, instead of turning the radio on to Classic FM as is my normal habit, I played a CD. Themes and Dreams - 24 All Time Greats. I bought it a few years ago at an Opp shop for a whole dollar. I won't labour with all the titles, but let me say that so many of the theme songs evoked emotion. When it came to No 18, tears welled. 

 

Before we got there I'd sent an SMS to my childhood best friend Graeme, in answer to one he'd sent me a day previous. He answered quickly. I cherish my communication with Graeme, renewed a couple of years ago after decades of none. He told me some months ago he was going to euthanize himself at the end of November. His reasons were ill health, inability to be productive, having to find alternative accommodation, a wish to join his wife who died 11 years ago. Fortunately he changed his mind, found affordable accommodation with the help of his son. While not completely happy where he is now, at least he's there for me to have ongoing contact. We agreed this morning it's best to focus on things you enjoy doing, with no harm to anyone or anything.

 

Track 18 was The Wind Beneath My Wings. I was transported back in time 30-40years, to a funeral I attended. A little girl was killed in an accident, she was 3 or 4 years old from memory. She was out on her family's block. Her father was cutting a tree trunk. The tree had fallen in a storm and pulled a large ball of soil out with the stump. As he cut the trunk, the weight of stump, now free of the weight holding it up out of the ground, fell back into the hole it had come from. The little girl, unbeknown to her father who was sawing, had jumped into the hole. The big stump crushed her.

 

At the time of this incident, her grandmother Fay Bastin worked at Chamomile Farm and did for a decade or more. Her daughter Allison, mother of the little girl, also worked with us for a time, as did her brother and his wife. That's why I was at the funeral. The song played at the funeral was The Wind Beneath My Wings. It cuts through me whenever I have heard it since.

 

With my emotions heightened, I continued listening to the CD. Track 23 was The Good The Bad and The Ugly. Now if there's a song that resonates with more memories than that of my mate Rickyralph, I can't think of it. He's been my great mate for 6 decades almost. He has dementia, early stages and manageable but again I was filled with great emotion. We have shared so many highs and lows in our survival path to the present.

 

I googled Fay Bastin later. The last time I asked Meredith about her a year or two ago she replied that she'd heard nothing of her since she moved to Drouin decades ago. Google told me Fay died last September and was farewelled at a family only funeral in Drouin. 

 

It's amazing, the power of music and song. Whist most of what I have written here may seem sad, it's not total sadness or pain I'm feeling. There's a joyful side to it, so many rich memories of people come over me, with huge gratitude I have known so many wonderful people. Every one of them has left a mark on me. 

 

Is it a saying - "I am the product of all I have met and known?" Seems appropriate anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being Human

My old mate, Ian Sinclair, Punjab, turned up earlier this month. We had much to talk about. He's been in Oz a couple of months having picked up his camper-van from where he leaves it in Australia. I not sure where. He flew into Sydney and after getting his van he headed to Queensland, visiting a mate, Col Stone, in northern NSW, on the way. He called at another mate's place, Bob Cooper, in Cairns, then he was off to Cooktown.

 

I mention Col and Bob by name because we all lived in Mt Waverley in the 1960's. Ian stayed with us from Sat 8 Nov till Monday 17 Nov. He rang a few times on his travels, his intention was to go across to Darwin and travel down to SA but the rego was due on his van and being NSW registered he needed a roadworthy certificate and this was more easily obtained for some reason in NSW so he headed south without the leg across the top.

 

He rang on 7 Nov from where he was camped in western NSW to say he wasn't far away, maybe he could do it in a day's drive. I told him that was fine he was welcome whenever. I told him briefly about my family's property at Emerald being for sale and the difficulties of that with all the paperwork with agent and solicitor back and forth and family complications. He said he was having hassles with his family here in Oz and he was keen to tell me about it  when he came. He was very interested in my family situation given that he was a frequent visitor in the early days when my family moved to Emerald. He was involved with the initial tree plantings and has visited the farm multiple times over the last 55 years, as recently as last summer.

 

Ian's family drama revolved around money. Assets of Reg Cantillon, Ian's step father. The Cantillons lived a few doors up from us in Virginia St. Mt Waverley. After Mrs Cantillon died and Ian's father died, Reg and Ian's mum, Beryl, married. Beryl died four years before Reg. He died in 2011. There were assets belonging to Reg that the executors, State Trustees, did not locate at the time the will was executed. These assets were unknown to the 6 beneficiaries, Ian, his brother and sisters and the Cantillon twins. A solicitor who specializes in this sort of thing, locating and processing lost assets found them somehow. He contacted Ian's family saying he knew where some of them were and that they amounted to in excess of $100k at the time the will was executed and had accrued to be worth over $500k now. This solicitor said he could find all the assets and organize their release to the executors for distribution to the beneficiaries. He would do this if the beneficiaries signed an agreement which would pay him 30pc of the total. Everyone else was willing to sign but not Ian, who thought 30pc too high a sum for some patient legwork.

 

One of Ian's sisters died in the interim so her bequeath would be split to her 2 children. Of the 7 needed to sign off Ian is the only one unwilling, so he's unpopular with the others. What a mess! Ian has found some of the assets are Commonwealth Bank Shares but knows not how many or what others there are or maybe, nor the total amount. He's trying to get the lady at the State Trustees who handles this to work with him to find them but she's unavailable, then on leave, then still not back when she said she would be. Nobody else there seems willing to work on it and say it will take weeks or months to find details never mind gaining authority.

 

Ian is understandably suspicious that there's some form of legal collusion at work. He's in no hurry to get his share. Others want it now or as quick as they can get it, never mind losing $160k plus to the solicitor. For much of the time he was here Ian was consumed by all this and spending countless hours on the phone to family and others discussing it and bringing me up to date following that. 

 

While this was going on I was consumed with matters to do with our property sale at Emerald. On that note I can say it has been sold, part deposit was paid 14 Nov with balance on 5 Dec. My fingers are still crossed nothing goes wrong. Settlement is set for 16 Jan. Then my involvement spanning over 5 decades will be over. Meredith and Roger are so busy getting rid of stuff and cleaning up, they have my sympathy. Jod thinks the new people will let him stay in his bungalow. I don't know how that will end. 

 

There's more I could write about for November but it will wait. I've worn myself out mentally going over all the legal stuff. Ian and I talked of so many things that have happened in our lives over the 60 plus years we have known each other. He and Gord came with me to Adelaide where we stayed overnight so I could attend (they came too) a SA chapter reunion of Old Camberwell Grammarians. A wine and cheese night. There was only one other bloke there from my final year, 1970, but we had an enjoyable time talking to mostly old guys. We then had dinner at a Greek cafe. We visited my Aunt Hatsu in Adelaide on the Saturday on the way home. She's 92 and managing quite well with home care. To think, she first met me when she came to Australia in 1961 having married my uncle.  I was nine years old. She was a girl during WW11 when Japan was heavily bombed. She ate sparrows and mice to stave of severe hunger.

 

Ian and I agreed that being a human being is a wild adventure. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kitchen Duty

 I washed dishes this morning, as I do every morning. And evening. I quite enjoy it. I find simple, mundane tasks calming. 

 

But it was a bit different today. I looked closely at items as I dried them and placed them squeaky clean in orderly sequence on the bench, ready to put away when I'm finishing the exercise. There were spoons from Indonesia and China and a knife from Sheffield England. There plates from China and USA. I picked up a little bottle of ghee on the bench. Packed in Australia but "Product of India." There was fruit on the bench, Kiwi from NZ, and I recalled seeing fresh food in the supermarket from USA the day previous.

 

It struck me what an amazing life we live. There's stuff from all over the world in my house, right at mt fingertips, all combining to give me a pleasant affluent lifestyle compared to so many people in the world who grub out existence the hard way. Historically, before electricity and the internal combustion engine inventions, it was so for most people. I think this way also driving around in traffic with just about every body driving around in their mechanized ton and half of steel, plastic, aluminum, vinyl, rubber personal transport - without an iota of concern really for where it or the fuel comes from.

 

Our car is a Skoda built in Czechoslovakia.  I can't even spell it  without auto correct!

 

I find it all.....bloody weird.  

 

 

It Cometh, To All

On our recent trip back to Victoria (August) we visited numerous family and friends, particularly in the Emerald /Cockatoo / Gembrook area where we lived for forty years until March 2021. There were many more people I'd have liked to visit but it was impossible, given our hectic schedule, to see all. 

 

My friend Vilma lives close to where we did in Gembrook and I called there without notice after we visited our old house. Lib wasn't with me at this stage, she went back with Rob to Emerald where we were staying after we checked out Agnes St. We were moved to see our our old garden, most trees still thriving but generally the surrounds were unkempt compared to how it was when we left. Vilma is 90 years old and a dear friend who always was warm and welcoming to me over a couple of decades. I picked in her garden and helped her with various gardening work extending to cleaning her spouting when her partner Josef was not well enough to climb up ladders. Josef is also a friend of mine, he was a neighbour of Vilma's and after his wife died he and Vilma hit it off and Joseph moved in and rented his house out. Josef is several years, maybe 10-15 younger than Vilma but who cares about that if it works.

 

When I called Josef was not home. He was at medical appointment and is waiting for a new hip operation. I was sorry to have missed him but Vilma was so obviously happily surprised to see me that any flatness I felt seeing our old abode disappeared. Despite her 90 years Vilma is as sharp as a tack with the same positive outlook that always lifted me no matter the weather or what foul circumstances may have been my lot at the time. Some people have that effect on you. During our discussion I told Vilma that I had befriended her daughter Julienne on Facebook after she popped up on my feed one day and I recognized the surname as the same as Vilma's. Julienne lived in Perth. On her FB I saw after a year or so she moved to Wangaratta, so I had a couple of messages with her over that, as I had lived and worked there for 5 years 1976-1981.

 

Then Julienne stopped posting. Months went by and I wondered why she wasn't posting. I PM'd her saying I hoped she was alright. No response. I did again a couple of months later with again no response. I told Vilma while we were catching up on things that I was friends with her daughter on FB but she'd stopped posting. Vilma's reply gave me a start.

 

"Oh. July died." Totally surprised, I asked what did she die from.

 

"She just died, in her house." I asked again what killed her.

 

"They don't know. She just died. It was her time to die. Her heart stopped. They found her on the floor." 

 

Vilma seemed quite composed about it although obviously sad. She said a policeman came to her door and sat in that chair there (pointing to it, next to hers) and told her. She said she asked the policeman could she ring one of her other daughters and tell her. He sat listening while Vilma told her July was dead and the daughter said, "I knew she was dead. I dreamed she was lying dead on the floor with blood coming from her head." The phone was on speaker so the policeman heard the conversation. Before leaving he wanted the other daughter's details, Vilma guessed because he found it a little strange. Nothing further came of it and it would seem likely it's possible people can dream things like that. That daughter did not live close to Julienne and there was no other way she could have known.

 

At least my mystery on why Julienne had gone quiet was answered. Another incident relating to Facebook comes to mind from earlier this year. A notification from a friend appeared in my feed.

 

"If you read this I'm dead." 

 

There was more by way of explanation but I can't recall it without hunting back. Ann Bolch had suffered from breast cancer and undergone chemo etc but she succumbed. She wrote her own last post on paper and asked her husband Tim to post it after she left us. That one shocked me, I had seen mention of her cancer earlier but only in a positive way approaching treatment.

 

When I look at my FB friends there are quite a number who are no longer with us, but I don't remove them as somehow them being there keeps them in my life and reminds me that it comes to us all sooner or later. No exceptions.   

 

 

 

Gaslighting

 The modern definition of gaslighting is a psychological manipulation technique in which a person tries to convince someone that their reality is untrue. It is a tactic often used by narcissists to gain control of their intended target.

I found that on Google, after looking up the word in my desk dictionary, The Australian Pocket Oxford Dictionary 1992 edition, which has no listing for the word at all. I concluded the Google definition is a recent interpretation of the word.

I looked it up because it's a word that's been frequently used over a few years now in interviews and discussion, often of a political nature, usually I think in the context of someone being harmed or betrayed in some way, but I never really knew how that was. I haven't heard it for a while, but now that I've learned the modern meaning of it, I suppose it'll mean the gaslighter is possibly a narcissist trying to manipulate the gaslit person's beliefs as a means to dominate them.

I confess that's still a bit difficult for me. I prefer by far my previous accepted version of the word, which coincides with the old dictionary I have, Websters Modern 20th century 1947 edition. It's a huge book that came from my grandmother Nanna Wilson originally to the farm when she came to live there in 1973, and somehow now sits in our "library". The pages are yellowed and the writing so small I could hardly read it.

It states Gaslighting - "The light produced by the combustion of coal gas."