I must be a pretty dull old bugger to some, but I feel no desire for revelry. I'm Alcohol Free today and am pleased to be not drinking on New Year's Eve, a first in decades. I would be in bed now were it not for this post. I feel no inspiration to write, but am doing so because it seems appropriate, the last evening of 2014, to record my state of mind and physical health.
It was January this year when first exhibited the Rheumatoid Arthritis symptoms which presented and were diagnosed as polymyalgia by my GP in late February I think. Treatment with cortisone got me fairly pain free but my inflammation readings from my blood tests remained high and when we reduced the cortisone dose the pain returned. GP sent me to specialist who diagnosed the RA, this now was September. He prescribed an immune system suppressant drug, methotrexate (MT), which had little initial impact for the first six weeks, in fact I was worse with severe pain in the foot after taking the tablet each week (once a week dose). The MT is supposed to prevent the RA escalating and reduce the inflammation and prevent the joints degenerating. Initially I had to take increased cortisone to reduce this pain which I was not happy about as long term cortisone use has definite adverse side effects which is why I was prescribed MT, that is, it is safer with less side effects over the long term.
The specialist at the mid October consultation increased my MT dose, and told me to keep taking the cortisone as well, until the MT began to work properly which can take months. At my mid December appointment my blood tests showed reduced inflammation levels at last and doctor reduced my cortisone dose, to be further reduced in mid January, then my next appointment is mid Feb. It looks like things are moving in the right direction and I have some optimism that I will be able to function well through 2015 and into the future. Along the way in 2014 the stiffness and pain was first in my legs and buttocks but shifted to my shoulders where it has been worst, but also neck and ribs and back. The MT has a number of possible side effects which are not common such as nausea and vomiting and hair loss, none of which I have had, and long term increased potential for damage to the liver especially with heavy alcohol use, and increased risk of melanoma and lung cancer so the advice is to wear a hat, long sleeves, and sunscreen, and to give up smoking if one does, which I don't having given up in 1990.
I have followed the advice to reduce my alcohol intake, and therefore have 4 AF days a week as a rule. My liver function tests which are standard procedure when on MT have been normal, so I have relaxed a bit Fri- Sun and drink quite normally rather than just a couple of glasses a night as I did for the first six weeks. I'm hoping liver will still be fine at next Feb appointment.
The good thing is that I have started my morning walks again these last few days, not early as I would like but I'll start earlier as I feel better first thing. The weather has been kind with mild temperatures and we've had fairly regular rain and the world looks beautiful to me. Everything looks more beautiful when I walk because the mind focuses in the present without distraction and you can look around and up to the clouds and down to the earth and be alert to all the noises of nature like the birds and the breeze in the leaves and the branches and all the scents that are there if we are open to them.
Five minutes to midnight, no fireworks to scare Pip yet. I'll close before midnight and wish you all a safe and prosperous 2015. I'm full of optimism and hope. There they go, bang bang whoosh. Bye.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Boxing Day 2014
Last Tuesday our wholesaler rang in the morning.
"What are the chances of getting 20 bunches of green beech on Friday by 2pm."
My immediate reaction was, "None." Then after a few seconds I said, "Yes, I'll do that." It took me those few seconds to realize that, as much as I didn't want to pick foliage that day, Lib would be working and I'd be at the farm catching up on grass or blackberry control, so why not make a few dollars reducing a tree I'd like down a bit.
So today I started work about midday and had the beech picked well before 2pm. It was a bit wet underfoot from the overnight and morning rain, so rather than cut grass with the whipper down the back I went on a blackberry hunt, cutting and painting the cut stems with a dabber sponge bottle containing straight Round Up. These blackberries I had been seeing for weeks shooting out of garden beds and hedges but I had not had the time to do anything about them.
Now in four hours you can do a lot of blackberries when that is your sole focus and I have to say despite the difficulty crawling in under dense growth and often having to cut a hole in to get to the base of the stems, it's rewarding work. I feel good about myself tonight, that I have killed so many of the blunny things. Mind you they don't all die outright, some will re shoot probably next spring. It needs follow up or going over repetitively over time. The more regularly the better. If it is not done it would not be long until rampant blackberries took over the whole property.This will probably happen one day, after my time.
Christmas was good. My 63rd, but of course I don't remember many of them. I know I have spent the last 34 in the company of Lib, usually with all or some of her family, many times in Wangaratta at her parents', some here in Gembrook, some in Bendigo at sister Pat's, a couple in Bairnsdale at sister Margaret's. There was one in Lakes Entrance. Before that I had one with the Kelly's in Wangaratta, one with John and Nicky at Moyhu, Prior to that I have a void in my memory of several years. The parents and Meredith for some years after we moved to Emerald packed a picnic lunch and drove to the Botanical gardens in Melbourne which was deserted so they had it more or less to themselves. I never went with them. I can't really remember what I did. I think I spent a few with Rickyralph, in the bush or down the beach. The only one I clearly remember was on Mt. Terrible because it snowed heavily. Ha! A white Christmas in summer in Australia, but not really, the snow melted soon after it hit the ground.
My childhood memories of Christmas are at my father's parents' place. I didn't enjoy it. They were religious crazies who made us kids sing religious songs and I hated that, it spoiled Christmas for me. If I could have the time over I'd just say 'No thanks, Sing it yourself." There are many things I would respond differently to if I had my time over. Like at school when I was told I was going to be caned for a minor indiscretion. I submitted meekly. If I could go back I would say, "No, sorry, no way. Bye." Or when I was called up into the army, I'd tell them to shove it now. It is easy with hindsight, of course back then I knew nothing but believed I should be obedient. It took me probably a decade into adulthood to realize these things. I like to think I'm a free thinking person, but I have to conform to so many inane rules and regulations, I'm not free at all. I would like to reject more of modern society but I don't because I don't want to live a life of conflict and deprivation. It is and always will be a moral question - when to dissent or to go along with the status quo. Maybe the solution is to find more effective ways of dissenting. Hmm.
Happy Christmas and New Year to all.
"What are the chances of getting 20 bunches of green beech on Friday by 2pm."
My immediate reaction was, "None." Then after a few seconds I said, "Yes, I'll do that." It took me those few seconds to realize that, as much as I didn't want to pick foliage that day, Lib would be working and I'd be at the farm catching up on grass or blackberry control, so why not make a few dollars reducing a tree I'd like down a bit.
So today I started work about midday and had the beech picked well before 2pm. It was a bit wet underfoot from the overnight and morning rain, so rather than cut grass with the whipper down the back I went on a blackberry hunt, cutting and painting the cut stems with a dabber sponge bottle containing straight Round Up. These blackberries I had been seeing for weeks shooting out of garden beds and hedges but I had not had the time to do anything about them.
Now in four hours you can do a lot of blackberries when that is your sole focus and I have to say despite the difficulty crawling in under dense growth and often having to cut a hole in to get to the base of the stems, it's rewarding work. I feel good about myself tonight, that I have killed so many of the blunny things. Mind you they don't all die outright, some will re shoot probably next spring. It needs follow up or going over repetitively over time. The more regularly the better. If it is not done it would not be long until rampant blackberries took over the whole property.This will probably happen one day, after my time.
Christmas was good. My 63rd, but of course I don't remember many of them. I know I have spent the last 34 in the company of Lib, usually with all or some of her family, many times in Wangaratta at her parents', some here in Gembrook, some in Bendigo at sister Pat's, a couple in Bairnsdale at sister Margaret's. There was one in Lakes Entrance. Before that I had one with the Kelly's in Wangaratta, one with John and Nicky at Moyhu, Prior to that I have a void in my memory of several years. The parents and Meredith for some years after we moved to Emerald packed a picnic lunch and drove to the Botanical gardens in Melbourne which was deserted so they had it more or less to themselves. I never went with them. I can't really remember what I did. I think I spent a few with Rickyralph, in the bush or down the beach. The only one I clearly remember was on Mt. Terrible because it snowed heavily. Ha! A white Christmas in summer in Australia, but not really, the snow melted soon after it hit the ground.
My childhood memories of Christmas are at my father's parents' place. I didn't enjoy it. They were religious crazies who made us kids sing religious songs and I hated that, it spoiled Christmas for me. If I could have the time over I'd just say 'No thanks, Sing it yourself." There are many things I would respond differently to if I had my time over. Like at school when I was told I was going to be caned for a minor indiscretion. I submitted meekly. If I could go back I would say, "No, sorry, no way. Bye." Or when I was called up into the army, I'd tell them to shove it now. It is easy with hindsight, of course back then I knew nothing but believed I should be obedient. It took me probably a decade into adulthood to realize these things. I like to think I'm a free thinking person, but I have to conform to so many inane rules and regulations, I'm not free at all. I would like to reject more of modern society but I don't because I don't want to live a life of conflict and deprivation. It is and always will be a moral question - when to dissent or to go along with the status quo. Maybe the solution is to find more effective ways of dissenting. Hmm.
Happy Christmas and New Year to all.
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
45 Minutes of Quiet Contemplation
Lib worked today although it was supposed to be a day off for her. After she left shortly after 6.30am I tidied the kitchen and took my vitamins and a cortisone tablet and lay down for a planned 45 minutes of quiet contemplation while the cortisone weaved its spell. At 7.30 I snapped out of my dreamy state knowing I had an hour and a bit to get the sheets and other washing done and on the line, get ready for work including load the whipper snipper and bits and pieces and then get to Nobelius Park to meet a council officer re some park business. Earlier I had said there was not enough washing to bother putting a load on so Lib suggested I wash the sheets as it was a warm day with a change coming in the evening with possible rain.
I loaded the washing machine, it was now a big load and went back to rotate the mattress. We have a wool under blanket which I took outside and shook. The under blanket drops a fine dust onto the mattress so I vacuumed it thoroughly and did the rest of the room, moving the bed and doing under it too. While I was doing this I could hear a rumbling which was audible over the vacuum noise. Ah, thunder again, I thought. Then there was another burst and it stopped as thunder does. I couldn't work out why Pip hadn't run to me in panic, but I didn't worry as I knew she was inside and therefore not doing a bolting turn up the road. A third peel of thunder, louder still, but different, then an accompanying banging which made me realize it was not thunder.
It was the washing machine having a spell of not so quiet contemplation. I rushed to the laundry to find it askew and a large amount of water over the floor. The sheets had somehow all packed on one side of the machine and put it out of balance while it was emptying spinning. By the time I got there the machine had moved about and shut its function down but had red light flashing and was making a strange alarm sound. The sheets were jammed in so tight between the central shaft and the wall on one side that they were very difficult to extract and rearrange, so I could get the blunny thing to rinse cycle and spin dry. Before I got to that I had to soak up all the water with towels.
I was 3 minutes late for my 9am appt. I had no time time for quiet contemplation for the rest of the day and by the time I got home the cool change had come. I brought the dry washing in at lunchtime when I returned and remade the bed, and the laundry floor had had a good clean to boot.
Amazing things washing machines. We take them for granted and they rarely disfunction. We've lived here for 33 years and have only had two. The first one, a wedding present from my parents, lasted 24 years. The current one has been good but has needed a repair man twice.
But before the drama today I did enjoy my 45 minutes of quiet contemplation and how good would it be if we could all do it every day, just relaxing and thinking positively about good things. Bliss.
I loaded the washing machine, it was now a big load and went back to rotate the mattress. We have a wool under blanket which I took outside and shook. The under blanket drops a fine dust onto the mattress so I vacuumed it thoroughly and did the rest of the room, moving the bed and doing under it too. While I was doing this I could hear a rumbling which was audible over the vacuum noise. Ah, thunder again, I thought. Then there was another burst and it stopped as thunder does. I couldn't work out why Pip hadn't run to me in panic, but I didn't worry as I knew she was inside and therefore not doing a bolting turn up the road. A third peel of thunder, louder still, but different, then an accompanying banging which made me realize it was not thunder.
It was the washing machine having a spell of not so quiet contemplation. I rushed to the laundry to find it askew and a large amount of water over the floor. The sheets had somehow all packed on one side of the machine and put it out of balance while it was emptying spinning. By the time I got there the machine had moved about and shut its function down but had red light flashing and was making a strange alarm sound. The sheets were jammed in so tight between the central shaft and the wall on one side that they were very difficult to extract and rearrange, so I could get the blunny thing to rinse cycle and spin dry. Before I got to that I had to soak up all the water with towels.
I was 3 minutes late for my 9am appt. I had no time time for quiet contemplation for the rest of the day and by the time I got home the cool change had come. I brought the dry washing in at lunchtime when I returned and remade the bed, and the laundry floor had had a good clean to boot.
Amazing things washing machines. We take them for granted and they rarely disfunction. We've lived here for 33 years and have only had two. The first one, a wedding present from my parents, lasted 24 years. The current one has been good but has needed a repair man twice.
But before the drama today I did enjoy my 45 minutes of quiet contemplation and how good would it be if we could all do it every day, just relaxing and thinking positively about good things. Bliss.
Saturday, December 06, 2014
Rain, Pain, Thunder, and Sweet Rest
It's raining outside. Rain into December is especially good. Lib has gone to work and the rain eases my conscience at taking the luxury of doing a blog post in the day time.
I caught the last half of my writing class yesterday, the final of the year. Fellow student Stuart read a piece about the Greek gods. I have always had trouble absorbing and remembering who is who and who did what in Greek mythology but after Stuart's piece and the thunder and rain this morning I think now I have Zeus nailed permanently as the Lord of the sky and the god of rain. It was an excellent class. Barb, Stuart's partner, read a piece about a lady taking in a refugee family in a country town. Julie, who has a young child she leaves next door at the Community Centre childcare while the class is on, read her piece about doing a photo session on the streets of St.Kilda for her course. And July read the first chapter of the book she has been writing about her and her Greek husband's 10 year project renovating a rundown hotel in Greece. Maria read a poem by Anne Sexton about her mother which bamboozled everyone but provoked much discussion and different opinion. Also present were Kerrie, John, Suzie and Judyanne. What a variety and what a great group of talented people I consort with on Fridays when I get there. I'm so glad I made the special effort yesterday even if I was more than an hour late.
I couldn't stay for the afternoon tea break up, I had to find bunches of variegated box for the 5pm pick up which I learned had been ordered when I dropped off my beech and variegated pitto foliage at the farm before I went to the class, as well as do my Friday afternoon fruit shop shopping and get my tattslotto on, and I wanted to go to Monbulk for shopping at the new Aldi after getting Gord to the post office to have passport photos taken (he's hoping to go to NZ with friends in January). We were home about 6.15pm. I was tired and quickly headed to the bathtub after putting the shopping away.
Now for the pain. I had a bad night with pain in my shoulder and an intermittent ache going down through my right upper arm, elbow, and forearm and into the wrist. Most unpleasant. I had little sleep having to move my arm carefully numerous times into new positions seeking relief. The most effective position seems to be putting my hand behind my head but after a while the ache returns so I have to change. I was pretty good earlier in the week but I guess after 5 solid days of work where my right arm gets a hammering pulling on the rope to cut with the cutters at the end of the pole in the air, it is no wonder that by Saturday I'm hurting and need a rest. And I don't mind if it's Zeus, Hewey or Jehovah I should thank but I'm grateful.
After Lib left at 6.30am, I took painkillers and the cortisone and went back to bed. I fell asleep to be woken at 8.30 with Pip whining at the bedroom window. She sleeps inside but I put her out earlier when I fed her, and while I was asleep the thunder and rain came. She has developed an acute sensitivity to thunder and literally goes nuts. We had a really bad night Wednesday night when the thunder went on all night and she would not stay in her bed. She scratched at the bedroom door till I had to let her in, or have all the paint removed, then she was not content to lie on the bed she had to burrow under the covers with us and go down to our feet and wriggle about. Very little sleep again.
I worked with my friends Pat and Mal yesterday morning for a couple of hours putting netting over their well cropped fruit trees and help tidy up before the fire restrictions come in next Monday. Their dog Cammie is like Pip and went nuts on Wednesday night. The difference is that he's an Irish deerhound, a very big dog. In the end Pat had to lay down with him in his bed and hold him tight but no sleep was had in their house either.
I will do little today. Maybe get some more zuchini seed in, and some basil. It's probably too wet to do a burn off as I was planning. Can't say I'm sorry.
PS Maria always starts the class with some quotes, mostly yesterday they were about Christmas. I missed that part of class but I have seen them now in the notes - here's two-
Roses are reddish,
Violets are bluish,
If it wasn't for Christmas,
We'd all be Jewish.
Benny Hill
I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come around, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calender of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.
Charles Dickens
I caught the last half of my writing class yesterday, the final of the year. Fellow student Stuart read a piece about the Greek gods. I have always had trouble absorbing and remembering who is who and who did what in Greek mythology but after Stuart's piece and the thunder and rain this morning I think now I have Zeus nailed permanently as the Lord of the sky and the god of rain. It was an excellent class. Barb, Stuart's partner, read a piece about a lady taking in a refugee family in a country town. Julie, who has a young child she leaves next door at the Community Centre childcare while the class is on, read her piece about doing a photo session on the streets of St.Kilda for her course. And July read the first chapter of the book she has been writing about her and her Greek husband's 10 year project renovating a rundown hotel in Greece. Maria read a poem by Anne Sexton about her mother which bamboozled everyone but provoked much discussion and different opinion. Also present were Kerrie, John, Suzie and Judyanne. What a variety and what a great group of talented people I consort with on Fridays when I get there. I'm so glad I made the special effort yesterday even if I was more than an hour late.
I couldn't stay for the afternoon tea break up, I had to find bunches of variegated box for the 5pm pick up which I learned had been ordered when I dropped off my beech and variegated pitto foliage at the farm before I went to the class, as well as do my Friday afternoon fruit shop shopping and get my tattslotto on, and I wanted to go to Monbulk for shopping at the new Aldi after getting Gord to the post office to have passport photos taken (he's hoping to go to NZ with friends in January). We were home about 6.15pm. I was tired and quickly headed to the bathtub after putting the shopping away.
Now for the pain. I had a bad night with pain in my shoulder and an intermittent ache going down through my right upper arm, elbow, and forearm and into the wrist. Most unpleasant. I had little sleep having to move my arm carefully numerous times into new positions seeking relief. The most effective position seems to be putting my hand behind my head but after a while the ache returns so I have to change. I was pretty good earlier in the week but I guess after 5 solid days of work where my right arm gets a hammering pulling on the rope to cut with the cutters at the end of the pole in the air, it is no wonder that by Saturday I'm hurting and need a rest. And I don't mind if it's Zeus, Hewey or Jehovah I should thank but I'm grateful.
After Lib left at 6.30am, I took painkillers and the cortisone and went back to bed. I fell asleep to be woken at 8.30 with Pip whining at the bedroom window. She sleeps inside but I put her out earlier when I fed her, and while I was asleep the thunder and rain came. She has developed an acute sensitivity to thunder and literally goes nuts. We had a really bad night Wednesday night when the thunder went on all night and she would not stay in her bed. She scratched at the bedroom door till I had to let her in, or have all the paint removed, then she was not content to lie on the bed she had to burrow under the covers with us and go down to our feet and wriggle about. Very little sleep again.
I worked with my friends Pat and Mal yesterday morning for a couple of hours putting netting over their well cropped fruit trees and help tidy up before the fire restrictions come in next Monday. Their dog Cammie is like Pip and went nuts on Wednesday night. The difference is that he's an Irish deerhound, a very big dog. In the end Pat had to lay down with him in his bed and hold him tight but no sleep was had in their house either.
I will do little today. Maybe get some more zuchini seed in, and some basil. It's probably too wet to do a burn off as I was planning. Can't say I'm sorry.
PS Maria always starts the class with some quotes, mostly yesterday they were about Christmas. I missed that part of class but I have seen them now in the notes - here's two-
Roses are reddish,
Violets are bluish,
If it wasn't for Christmas,
We'd all be Jewish.
Benny Hill
I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come around, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calender of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.
Charles Dickens
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)