Tuesday, March 14, 2023

Neighbour Helen

 It was our neighbour Helen's 78th birthday on 25 February. In the two years we've lived here she has been coming to visit on more days than she hasn't. In the beginning she'd come sometimes 3 times a day. If it was morning I'd offer a cup of tea or coffee, late afternoon a glass of wine. It became a bit much, she'd let herself in without knocking, if the front door was locked she'd go round the side gate and come in through the back yard.


We had to set some rules. I rigged up a lock for the side gate. I told her not to come in without knocking. This took a while to sink in. I had to keep the front door locked, and if I went out and the garage was open, lock the door from the garage to the house and from the garage into the back yard. I didn't let her in if she came in the evenings and knocked on the door. I said we didn't want visitors in the evenings. She kept trying now and again. 


Before Christmas I came home one day and Gord told me there was loud banging out the back. I looked over the fence but couldn't see anything, there's a big bush between where I was looking and the court where Helen's front of house is. Her house is immediately behind ours with access from the court, the house next to us on the corner of our street and the court.


About an hour or so after Gord heard the banging my phone rang. It was Helen's daughter ringing from Hobart. She said Helen had gone to drive her car out but forgot to raise the electric door. The door was totalled, and probably the car. The police and ambulance were there she said, Helen was not injured, but could I go see her to make sure she was OK. The ambos and cops, two cars of each, were still there when I got there. She was shaken but OK. They asked me to check on her in the morning. She was Ok.



After that incident had no car. She had managed to damage every panel somehow and pulled the control off the wall. She must have panicked with the noise and gunned it. I have been doing some shopping for her by way of a list, and a few times she has asked me to take her to Coles or an appointment, say at the ophthalmologist or to her bridge session. It was a nuisance, but you do this for a neighbour in need. When she called in the mornings, we'd usually do the quizz out of the Adelaide Advertiser (I kept them for that purpose), that was easier than trying to make conversation. She'd stay only twenty minutes or so, then go home to "get back to the dog." 


She didn't come in on the morning of her birthday. Lib and I went to take her a card and a block of chocolate, and some left-over curry and rice from a delicious dish we had the night before (made by Jethro, Ian Sinclair's son. Ian, Jethro and Kulan were staying with us). The dog Peppi was barking from inside, but Helen didn't come to the door. We could hear the television going. The door was not locked, I opened it and called out to her. No answer. We didn't want to leave the curry outside, so we went in, still calling out. No Helen. We put the gear on the bench and went out, but as we did Peppi bolted out and into the court. He ran towards our road. I was worried he'd be hit by a car, and we hurried after him calling. As we neared the corner who should appear but Helen, all dressed up with handbag, saying someone had been supposed to pick her up for lunch for her birthday but didn't show. I asked who it was, she said she couldn't remember. She went home with Peppi trotting after her, we'd told her we'd left stuff on the bench.


The next day, Sunday, she came in at lunch time, without knocking, shopping bag in hand, and asked would I take her to Coles. OK I said but I'd have my soup first. I offered her soup from the pot, and she sat and ate with us and our visitors. I then took her to Coles. We were there quite a while, she fussed about, and I watched from a distance while she fumbled around trying to self-checkout. when I drove back I saw a police car parked in our street opposite the entrance to her court. No cops to be seen. I drove to her driveway and there was an ambulance parked outside, not across her driveway, but outside her house. I thought there must have been a problem with another neighbour in the court, but there was no one to be seen. I offered to help Helen in with her shopping, but she said she was fine, and I saw her slowly walking towards her front door.


A couple of hours later our neighbour Deb (other side) knocked on our door saying that the neighbour next to us on the corner of the court, Sue, had seen Helen arguing with a large chunky lady and later leave in the ambulance. It hadn't occurred to me that Helen had anything to do with the ambulance as she was with me and seemed fine when I dropped her off.


A lady who knew Helen knocked on the door later and told Lib what happened. Helen had been wandering in the street and was vague when another lady who lived up the road asked her if she was alright. She was messing with her phone but couldn't use it properly. That lady took her home and found the house unclean. I had noticed the sink grimy when we were there on the Saturday, and the house smelt of dog, but I wasn't looking for problems at that point. She'd rung the police and ambulance. Helen then must have come into our place asking to go shopping before they got there, and they were out looking for her when I came back with her. She'd been taken to Flinders hospital in Adelaide for assessment. 


 A few days later neighbour Sue told me a friend of Helen's (her "boyfriend" Trevor, who was a frequent visitor to her house) told her that Helen had discharged herself from hospital, having taken $1000 from her bank account, but left her handbag behind at the hospital and was wandering somewhere, no one knew where she was. I texted her daughter a few days later, she replied Helen was found in a stranger's place and taken back to hospital where she'd be for another week for assessment, but it was unlikely she'd be able to live alone again. That week is up, we've heard no more. Oddly, after all the times we felt annoyed by her visits, now that she's gone, we sort of miss her.  I suppose we'll learn from Catherine what happens, I think she was looking for an aged care facility in Hobart.