Vale Joanee

In 1956 my father Lyle's rich aunt, Auntie Clare, bought him a new car, a powder blue FC(?) Holden. To 'run it in', a requirement with a new car in those days, a trip was taken to Queensland. Into Holden crammed Lyle, Elvie, Lyle's brother Geoff and fiancee Joan, Auntie Clare, and Jod (6 or 7) and me (4). I'm told Meredith, who was two years old, stayed with Nanna Wilson, Elvie's mother. It became part of family folklore in the years since how at toilet stops, A. Clare would buy an icy pole for Jod, the apple of her eye. Joan, annoyed that I was excluded, would go into the shop and buy me one.

In the early sixties, when Elvie had the florist shop, she'd sometimes leave Meredith and me at Auntie Joan's in Ashwood on Saturdays. Anne and Stephen were toddlers. I recall a glass of milk being put in front of Stephen in his high chair. He picked it up and promptly upended it onto the floor. Geoff was off playing cricket and Joan had her hands full looking after her kids but she always good to Meredith and I. We loved her, and were sad when she and Geoff split and she was lost to us.

The split, in 1966, was acrimonious. Joan went to Thailand with a man named Frank, who worked for Ford. Elvie tells me she didn't marry him, but changed her name by deedpoll to match his, and presumably the kids' too. They returned in 1973, living in Brisbane in the then new suburb, Mt. Ommaney. Frank was by now state manager of Austral Motors, the Chrysler dealer in Qld. That summer of 74, I went to study at QAC at Gatton and called at Joan's. While I was there it started to rain, and rain; more than 20 inches from memory was dumped in 24 hours and even more in the mountains to the west, causing the Brisbane river to flood, inundating many suburbs. I was stuck at Mt.Ommaney for some days. Provisions were dropped by helicopter. When the water subsided all the flooded houses and cars were covered by a couple of inches of slimy mud.

I visited Joan again 1977, on a trip to Nth Qld. By this time Frank had progressed to his own business, a second hand car yard, and was handing out match boxes with pictures of topless women on them, advertising 'Frank Tomlin Motors'. Not long after this Joan came home from work one day to find her house empty of the leased furniture. No note, no Frank. It took her weeks to find out that he'd run off to some place in the South Pacific with his secretary, leaving a mountain of debt. Joan was left to raise her now teenage children alone and had to vacate her house.

Joan and I kept in touch by letter and occasional phonecalls through the decades. Lib, myself, and the boys did a road trip to Qld in 1997 staying with Joan, who proudly worked as a sales rep selling plumbing products, the only female in Qld at James Hardie to do so. Her daughter Anne, now a single mum with a toddler and twin babies a few months old, lived with her. Stephen was married and lived in Tasmania.

I last saw her a few years ago. Stephen arranged a stopover in Melbourne to go to the footy while he was taking Joan to his place in Tassy for a holiday. He teed it up with me to knock on the door of the hotel room at a given time to surprise Joan while he'd stepped out 'for some air'. I was invited to Joan's surprise 70th birthday last year in Brisbane but didn't go, much to my regret now.

Joan, a fun loving lady with a great sense of humour and an engaging personality, was fiercely devoted to her children and grandchilren. She had Parkinson's, and learned last April she had lung cancer. The chemo didn't work, and she was told a few weeks ago she had months, not years, to live, after a growth came up on her neck. She had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago. After getting the twins off to school she felt her heart behaving strangely. She drove herself to hospital but it was downhill from there.

At the funeral service it seemed appropriate to me that I sat next to Uncle Geoff who travelled from a holiday at Caloundra, and who had married Joan fifty years earlier. He and Joan were estranged but in recent years Geoff had restored relations with Anne and Stephen without Joan's knowledge. Anne and Stephen were glad Geoff came.

I booked a Jetstar 'light travel' ticket to Brisbane at short notice, with no check in luggage. Into the carry on shoulder bag I hastily packed at 4.30 am on the day of the funeral, I threw a small note book I found in an old toilet bag. At Avalon airport, with a little time before boarding, I opened the notebook to jot down some thoughts. There was a quote on the first page I'd written years ago from a Jimmy Buffet book titled, 'A Salty Piece of Land'. It too seemed to suit the occasion.

"Everything leaves eventually in the physical form, but the memories of good people and good work are timeless."