Coffee and Cake

Neighbours Celia and Cathy live opposite and two doors up. On Saturday afternoon late there was a knock on our door and it was Celia smiling broadly with a hat like an Akubra atop her athletic frame. It took me a couple of seconds to recall her name, which happens to me a bit when I encounter someone away from where I usually see them. It was unusual for Celia to be at our front door, normally when I see her she riding her bike, walking, or driving her ute which is often adorned with a kayak.

She said it was Cathy's mother Margaret's 80th birthday on Monday and the family was going to to Forest Edge restaurant down Launching Place Road for Sunday lunch to be followed by more people gathering at Celia and Cathy's house later for coffee and cake, say from about 3pm. She said they knew Margaret would like me to attend as she enjoys talking to me so I was invited to come if I could make it. I thanked her and said yes I'll be there as I also like talking to Margaret and would be delighted to be part of the birthday thing.

Margaret, who is a charming and delightful lady, owns a weekender in our street, also opposite us, but back the other way . She bought this as it was near her daughter Cathy and she loved the quiet rural feel, and comes up from Melbourne quite regularly, but less so these days than previously when she was married to her second husband, Graham, a Scotsman. For some years she and Graham spent six months in Scotland, then six in Melbourne, conveniently avoiding the winters. A keen gardener, she and I always had plenty to talk about, and we had numerous happy conversations over the years and I helped her a couple of times with the chainsaw to remove fallen tree debris, and I picked some geranium, daphne and pieris in her garden from time to time.

Graham's health deteriorated as did his driving ability; in the last year he was here there were a number of incidents with the car and near misses. When they next went to Scotland Graham would not return. Margaret did briefly to attend to some necessaries and went back to to Scotland to care for Graham who was by now seriously invalided. It was a difficult time for Margaret at her age to be skipping across the world, torn between her desire to stay in Australia and Graham's need that she stay in Scotland. Graham passed and Margaret moved home permanently.

For the last year or so I have seen little of Margaret as her house was used by a grandchild with young family who had work in the area. On Margaret's odd trips up to tend the garden I would always stop for a chat if I saw her. On one of these times she told me her daughter Libby was buying the house in the near future.

My Libby left for work Sunday morning at 6.30 - she doesn't work Sunday usually but was filling in for another nurse - and in the freshness of the morning I walked the garden picking flowers and foliage and bunched it up as neatly as I could to give to Margaret later when I went to the do. It turned out quite a hot day so I was glad I did this early. I blanched and froze quite a lot of beans I'd picked out at Marguerita's the day before and did the vegies for our Sunday roast. In the early arvo I pushed the mower round the house and when 3pm came my shirt and singlet were ringing wet with perspiration. I changed into a nice shirt and slacks and with plenty of deodorant and flowers in hand walked up the street to Celia and Cathy's feeling quite the dandy.

Margaret loved her bunch of flowers and I met other members of the family including daughter Fiona from Cairns and brother Geoffrey. There was no grog, just ginger beer, water, tea and coffee and lots of fruit platters and of course cake. Alec from Scotland dressed in kilt played the bagpipes and the kids swam in Cathy and Celia's new pool, it was a lovely family get together, and I had a good yarn with other neighbours Vicki and Mark. At about 5pm Margaret, Geoffrey, Alec, daughter Libby and I and some of the younger ones walked down the road to see the renovations to Margaret's house which to this point is a new roof and bathroom. Libby is going to build a new house up the back and the old one will be for Margaret to stay in when she visits.

This was a thoroughly good day with thoroughly good people. Afterwards I went up to Hanna's and sprayed some weeds and watered the pumpkins which are taking off now. Then a warm bath, a lovely roast chicken with a good bottle of red. Doesn't get much better.

Margaret

Alec playing the pipes

 

Positivity

Sarah Ariss is a cognitive hypnotherapist in England and somehow her posts come up on my Facebook homepage. I'm not sure why this is, but I think it's something to do with her attending some advanced classes in aspects of hypnotherapy where the leader was Dr Brian Roet whom I have known for a long time. Brian was centre half back in Melbourne's 1964 Premiership team as a young man, and I met him personally in 1975 when I was working at Redpath's Beeline Apiaries and he walked in to inquire about obtaining bees as he'd bought property at Upper Beaconsfield and thought bees might do well there.

Brian was at the time a gynecologist and to abbreviate a story I helped him with his bees, and we had contact over a few years. I was working in Wangaratta from 1976 but was often home on weekends and when sister Meredith was expecting her first child I suggested Brian to her and he worked with Meredith through her pregnancy and birthing. He had a life change after that and left Australia to live in England and become a hypnotherapist. I have probably told that story somewhere previously in more detail in my blog, it's difficult to remember all that you write and I'm sure I'm a little repetitive sometimes.

I contacted Brian a few years ago when I thought I had polymyalgia, this being thirty years after our last contact, to ask him if he knew of any tricks I might do to improve my situation. After a little jogging of his memory he recalled me well and sent me some meditation tools. During that process I must have "liked' something on Facebook that came up mentioning Dr Brian Roet and I now receive updates from Sarah Ariss, and I just love her thinking and writing. So I'm going to try to reproduce some here. I tried to copy and paste straight from her blog but warnings came up from Blogger which I don't quite understand so I'm going to try saving on word then copy and pasting.

About Me…

A Little More about Me…

I have always been interested in people. As a teenager I was painfully shy, but I have learnt that asking people about themselves is a great way to overcome that shyness. Its funny how a smile and an interest in another person can make you forget your own self consciousness! I love listening to people. Which is fortunate in my line of business!

I have always enjoyed drawing and painting and my latest interest is photography. All the photos on my website were taken by me. I photograph the countryside around where I live and particularly like macro shots of flowers!

At university I studied History of Art and then English Literature. Love of learning is something that plays a huge part in my life.

Why did I decide to become a Cognitive Hypnotherapist?

I have experienced, with a close family member, just how frustrating and upsetting it can be to have to fight for help where Mental Health is concerned. I decided that if I could ever help anyone in the same position in the future, I would. I want to treat people with care, respect and kindness.

My own life changing experience of hypnotherapy came when I sought help for a fear that was beginning to really restrict my life. In one session my life was transformed. The strange thing is that I remember asking the therapist “Did you actually hypnotise me?? ” It didn’t feel weird or life changing – I just felt calm and relaxed. I couldn’t really believe how quickly and powerfully the therapy worked. It was as if the fear had never been there…

I began to realise that training to be a hypnotherapist myself would mean being able to help people in a way that would be both extraordinary and incredibly rewarding. I knew that I would be able to help people who were possibly in the same position I had been in with my family member.

I wanted to make sure that I studied Cognitive Hypnotherapy with a school that was credible, supportive and that gave me an in depth knowledge of my subject.

I researched courses extensively and chose to study with the founder of Cognitive Hypnotherapy and Wordweaving™,  Trevor Silvester, at the Quest Institute in Regent’s University, London. It is a decision that has quite simply changed my life. The HPD Diploma course is an eleven month course with hands on practice as well as written examinations including case studies. It is intensive and thorough. The Quest Institute is considered one of the premier schools for hypnotherapy in the country.

Positivity.

Positivity is not something that everyone has. When faced with a challenge, or a dilemma, some people’s first reaction is “I can’t do that!” For example, when I wrote a post about Relaxation and how important is is for our mental health, a couple of friends told me that they just don’t have time to relax. I have another friend who is very ill, but I never see her without a massive smile on her face and a determination to make the most of every day. I wonder what makes the difference? Why does one person find quite small challenges impossible and yet another is willing to keep trying even when they know that the challenge they face is enormous?

A Change of Mindset

I had lunch with my mum the other day. She is 80 this year and never ceases to amaze me. Since my father died 16 years ago ( I can’t quite believe its that long…) she has grown and grown as a person, full of energy and vigour. Having smoked for 60 years she recently gave up and looks even brighter than ever. But she wasn’t always like this. I remember her being quite a negative person, but as time has gone on she has changed. Her cup is no longer half empty, but half full. Most days she would tell you her cup is full to overflowing. Even when she has difficult times, and she’s had a few lately, she lifts up her head and says, “I am not going to let this affect me. I am going to be good and kind and positive.”

So how has she changed? And how do clients I work with change from the negative loop they are in, to a loop of positivity?

The Two Wolves

There is a story I tell people…you may well have heard it before, but I find that it really resonates with the people I see. It is the story of the Two Wolves… There was once an old man, a Cherokee, who was sitting with his grandson….They were talking together about life and the way we live.

The old man told the boy that each of us has within us two wolves who constantly battle for superiority. There is a Bad Wolf full of Anger, Hatred, Self Pity, Arrogance, Envy, Lies and Negativity…. and there is a Good Wolf full of Love, Kindness, Empathy, Hope, Humility and Positivity.

The boy looked at his grandfather and thought for a while, then asked, “Grandfather, which of the two wolves is strongest? Which wolf will win?” The old man smiled at his grandson and said, “The one you feed…”

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining

So is that the secret? Can you become more positive by seeking out the good things in life and choosing to feed your Good Wolf? My answer to that would be, Yes. Now, I know that not every day is brilliant. There are days when things are actually rather rubbish and there can be periods of our lives when it seems everything is dark and dismal. Yet, even in those days there will be moments where the sun shines through, moments where the dark clouds are not quite so dark.

By feeding our Good Wolf we lighten our days. If we can find one good thing from a terrible situation, or if we can react in a way that is kind and understanding, it changes the way our brain works. By feeding the good we start to notice more of the good around us and that way the sun starts to shine.

I am not saying that this is the easiest thing you will ever do, but wouldn’t all of us rather live in a world where the Good Wolves thrive? There is no script to our lives…. There are no rules that say you have to be a certain way… and that means that you can change. Tomorrow, or today, or now….you can choose to think a different way. I think that’s what my mum has done. I think that she has chosen to love the people and the world around her, no matter what, and by feeding her Good Wolf she has changed the way she thinks, the way she lives. She relishes life.

That is part of the work I do….helping my clients to think a different way. It is so wonderful to see people realise that, if they choose to, they can change their lives. If you are curious then why don’t you get in touch?

sarah@sarahariss.com               07894564287               sarahariss.com

Windscreen, Washing Machine, Fridge

There's a man outside in my carport right now fitting a new windscreen to my Kangoo. A week or so before Christmas I was driving in Gembrook when a stone flicked up from a tray tray truck coming the other way and there was the dreaded smacking sound of stone hitting glass. At the time, without stopping, I couldn't see where the stone hit and I thought to myself "Phew, that was lucky," thankful I was travelling at a slow speed.

I forgot all about it until a week later when Gord, as a passenger, pointed out a fracture at the top of the screen, a ding now bigger than the 10 cent piece, too big therefore I believed to be repaired by the repair glue technique. Just before Xmas I had occasion to speak with my vehicle insurance co. about another matter...adding roadside assistance to Lib's car...and I asked them had I added no excess windscreen cover when I renewed as I had vague recollection that I had. Yes they told me so, I told them about the ding and they said it would be fine if I made a claim after the Christmas break.

Into January the crack grew slowly from the ding to be about 6 inches long so I rang Real Insurance and made a claim on Monday. Within half an hour I had a phone call from National Windscreens and we organised to get the job done today, being the first chance I felt I had to not be using the car for a time. He's finished already, doing the job in less than half an hour and told me not to drive for an hour or so. I'll leave it for at least two as I'm enjoying a bit of quiet time.

I have had my vehicles insured with Real for a few years now, and so has Gord and Jod on my recommendation. In 2015 Gord made a claim on hi Skoda, in 2016 Lib hit the kangaroo and we claimed on the Hyundai, and now I have claimed for the windscreen. In every instance Real have been courteous and efficient and always pleasant to deal with. I put my roadside assist with them also as in was cheaper than RACV. I have not needed this service yet, nor have I needed to test them on house insurance claim. I switched this to them also because of their lower premium, which is why I switched the cars to them in the first place.

On new year's eve Gord and I went to Good Guys in Narre Warren where I bought a new washing machine. The old one had started up a terrible groaning noise as it pumped water out and my repair man had a recorded message saying he was on his Christmas break till 7 January. The old one was purchased in 2004 so I figured it would be best option to buy a new one for $700 than wait and pay perhaps $300 repairing the old. Gord had done some research on the internet and found an LG on special. So far so good it's working a treat and is quieter and more efficient.

While in Good Guys we looked at fridges and liked the look of an LG fridge freezer of similar size to the one at home which ex neighbours Steve and Anne gave us when they moved three years ago. When I got home I saw the old fridge rating was 987 kw per year while the LG was 299. So after getting agreement from Lib, she and I went down to Good Guys Pakenham and bought one on New Years Day after Gord's research showed they had one there. It's nice to have new stuff.

I had a good semi rest between Xmas and New Year. We have been busy since and I've made good progress on the grass, I've started gathering firewood for winter, and yesterday even started on the blackberry control.

I'm hoping for a pleasant 2017 in good health. To quote the sales pitch of LG, "Life's Good." I wish the same to all my friends and readers scattered about Australia and abroad.

I have more interesting things than windscreens, washing machines and fridges to write about in the near future, it's just a matter of quiet time to do it.

 May God be with you.

The House that Doug Built

I'm sitting in it. At least in one of the many houses that Doug built. It was good to see Doug Sharpe and his wife Norma today at the farm where he has parked his caravan in front of Jod's place for a few days.

A carpenter by trade all his working life Doug lived in Emerald from the 1960's for about twenty five years. In 1981 when Lib and I bought our block of land and a small kit house, Doug and Jod were good friends and Jod worked for Doug, as did Doug's eldest son Graham who was about 17 I think. Doug and Jod must have worked together for some years as I recall that I also worked with them for a couple of months one summer, it must have been before I went to Wangaratta in May 1976. ( I have thought more about this - as at Feb 7-  I think it may have been 1973 before I went to Qld.) We were building a block of flats in Ferntree Gully and it was hot hard work with me doing most of the labouring lumping timber for the frames and rooves.

They would stop at the Clematis pub on the way home and drink themselves silly then go to Doug's house and kick on. I couldn't handle it I confess and usually made my own way home after a few pots. Doug and Norma had five kids and frankly their existence was rough and ready and boozy, their house had no floor coverings nor paint inside and the young kids were wild and free. But they were loved. Doug was an excellent tradesman and a hard worker, and a genuine good bloke. I didn't hesitate engaging him when we needed a carpenter to build our house.

It's a good house that has served us well for 35 years. We extended it in 1985 when Gord was on the way and again Doug built the extension. Jod was still with him, but I think only when Doug was busy, otherwise Jod was working in sawmills or driving a tractor.

Doug told me today he was 73. He has given up drinking, and smoking, after suffering lung cancer for which he has been treated for some years. He was a very heavy smoker, always rolling a cigarette while contemplating a problem or plan in his work, or with a beer afterwards. After he left Emerald he moved to Queensland and worked for another twenty years, some of it as a suupervisor for a building firm, returning to Victoria to Macedon where he now lives in retirement.

Doug would have been 38 when he built our house. He and Norma married young after Norma fell pregnant. Doug had a hard start in life from a very humble background which Jod has told me about but I don't recall fully, I think his old man drank heavily and always on the move. Doug was the eldest of 6 kids who were separated in foster homes at one point. Norma was the 6th of 15 kids.

It was just nice to see Doug still alive after battling the cancer, and to see Jod and he still mates. They have kept in touch through all the years.